Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Things I Still Didn't Know About Florida: Salt Springs Isn't Salty!

The Perkins boys got together again last weekend. This time we camped at a place I've never been before. In fact, I had little interest in going to another springs, but this trip contained some big surprises. The northerners and just about every kid in High School and college are on break and they had fun all around us. The "primitive" campsites were all that were left to us, and by primitive, the parks folks meant we were camping in a large field with few trees. I mean, I drove 1 1/2 hours into the land that time forgot (Ocala) only to find a campground that was as crowded as the Winter Park Art Show! (Okay, I'm exaggerating a little bit). I arrived first and set up my tent in the blazing hot sun, close as I could get to the solitary tree near our site, all the while being watched closely by a group of 10 teenagers next door, who were probably sure I was some kind of creepy old guy. A sweet spot in all of this was the lone tree near me contained a bird's nest of a large hawk that made lots of noise and flew in and out of the nest all day long, so I got some of the best bird watching I could ask for.
My brothers, Steve and Paul, show up later and it looks like the other sites near us are no-shows, so perhaps we would have just the teen church group next door singing Kum By Yah, and we could settle down for allmeat-noveggie meals our trips are famous for. The food is good, and we clean everything up and stow the ice chests, because we have been warned about bears in the area...I mean, if bears are roaming through neighborhoods in Orlando, what the hell can we hope for in the woods of Ocala!? We have our campfire talk, settle that I need to find a job, that it is all Obama's fault, and basically, anybody that ever offends a woman in our family gets their asses kicked.
I finally come to the part of camping that I dread: sleeping. It's a little hot and sticky, and it's a long walk to the restroom and I don't want to freak the kids out right next to us by making like a bear in the woods. I make it through most of the night and then wake suddenly to the sound of a bunch of things being thrown around and then silence..and then, right next to the side of my tent I hear snoring so loud it could only be that a bear has arrived and decided to sleep it off right next to me. Now, I'm taking my life in my hands just to take a leak and finally get up in the twilight of the early morning only to see that our other neighbor has arrived...a huge man in an open tent...with a black Prius parked nearby...

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